new ideas for books albums drawings
PEACE JAZZ FOR PRESIDENT
FLWR PWRS
SPERTS
COSM
KOZM
WOOD RUFFLE
LIP

vans bowl 2016 lost roll of film now found

strugs

well here are again
kind of like the first time
but worse?
maybe now is a good time to start talking again, about how to push out a little, draw closer a little, just endure and get through things.
i tell you one thing i do, in fact, what i'm doing right now: i listen to jazz music in the kitchen. i can't listen to the news anymore, it's too frustrating and frightening to allow into my food preparation times. i deny it entrance through my attempted mellow gates. i cook dinner for my family and i find something like this to glide me along:

and then it leads to this:

and then by osmosis i am reminded of the unending ability and struggle of the human being to articulate itself and it's thoughts and it's feelings through sounds and art and notes and words. and before i know it's happening: i am existing in this present moment for a second and enjoying having electricity and not being sick and the potatoes i'm about to take out of the oven.
i'm going to try!
i'm also going to try to find a way to come back to writing on here, which i say every 3-6 months. what will work now that everything in my life is different? maybe it won't? let's see!
peace
peace
peace

tuesday vibe

i know you're not supposed to ride a bike with headphones on, that it's very dangerous. but i used to do it everyday when i lived in west oakland and those late night/early morning bike rides to and from a friend's house, work, the bar, the studio, the bart is what kept me sane through some weird times. every now and then i stumble upon a song that would get heavy rotation on those rides and i can almost smell the emeryville again.



music is amazing. and is a magic thing! transportational even.

and you know what:  they still got it, man.



i find this inspirational and exciting. a year or so ago i saw these guys play at my local record store, luna, and it was amazing. i wasn't familiar with any of their stuff anymore but it transcended. i like seeing bands like that. fresh. i saw them back in 97 too at a little coffee shop not to far away from i used to buy dog food. do you ever wish you left permanent identifiable footprints everywhere you ever went so you could see if you're standing in the exact same spot again? but this time you wear some vans instead of reeboks or a some sandals.

minor mind fugue

a pen pal sent me this unknowingly and it has effected me unknowingly


i think about myself sitting in a chair i don't have yet looking out into the trees as i smoke a pipe. i think about someday smoking a pipe but i don't really want to someday smoke a pipe. what a stupid thing to die from. i could instead chew on a stick or a twizzler.

calling all witches

wednesday

-i recently (yesterday) did a drawing for an op-ed in the new york times. when you do these kind of things it's real deadline-y, like sketches by 2, final by 5 now go do it! but this article was great and the editor was helpful and proactive and it was just a nice experience. i mean, it was very stressful but now that it's done i can say it was and is nice to be a part of such a timeless institution. i am happy for the next 10 minutes at least!

-music is a daily part of my life since forever but there are some days, weeks months when i don't want to listen but  i want the atmosphere and environment that sound and music provide. this is what eno meant by ambient music i guess. sp lately i don't want to hear words or too many chords. well, maybe some but just not too many. so i've been enjoying having some things wash over me without me knowing until later. like this weird dead rehearsal from the 80s with a drum machine: 

and this bonnie prince billy and bitchin bajas record which i listen/don't listen to bith while i'm working at home and when i go for my nightly constitutional:

and it seems like many others like this:

quick note: i have discovered in the past years a deep love for the sound of a clarinet. if you can play clarinet you should. 

-i don't know what else? there are many irons in the fire and i am attempting to be grateful and present! there are so many things i'd like to do and it is a constant balance of capitalizing on the energy when it appears, waiting for a proper headspace and making that money. what a life! 

shre sled series

this happened!
and it is a real thing floating around the internet and in real life.
it's been a longtime goal of mine to do skateboard graphics and it's a wonderful feeling to check this off the list. now to do 100 more!
i can't thank my friends at element enough. it's been a great experience and everyone has been respectful, enthusiastic and receptive to everything.
peace

moire notes

-i don't know man, i've been doing drawings and making breakfasts and drinking coffee and trying to sleep better.i find i want to listen to music less and less. or at least the music i used to listen to. i don't want to hear voices or individuals some days, just waves or the sound of many people being folded into one hum. like the above

-i'm adding some things to the store tomorrow.

-i'm reading a really good book about leonard cohen and i am really digging his kind of goofy 80s era with the drum machines in a comforting familiar way. disregard earlier statement about voices and individuals

-greek mythology? pots?

-these ideas for a wall that did not get used:

this week at the end of the year roundup

merry holiday: it's a blog.
chiming back in here are the end of the year to say: holy crap. what a year that was! good stuff and bad stuff and medium stuff and weird stuff and stuff and stuff!

let's watch tv:

today i watched this video and was inspired to be grateful!


the other day i watched this video and missed some friends!


a couple months ago i watched this video for a song from what, as it turns out, is my favorite record this year. it makes me sad and happy at the same time like good art is supposed to do.


i had this idea of a big year end round up of all the good stuff but maybe that's too much pressure.
let me just ease back in
like a toe in a hot tub
like bite of a burrito
like a sniff of the spray

i hope you all sniffed it and rolled around in it this year even if you didn't want to.
it's good for us!

peace!

hard fire

it's hard. because i feel so scattered and un-care-free to be on the blog like i used to be.
and that is life and it's ok. really. but every now and again i feel the need to chime in because it's not quite time to close the book on it. i've been working hard and been able to do some fun things that are meaningful to me. to make things that people see and then do more is truly a gift.
but right now i'm thinking of music and thinking of these things:
i have a lot of records and used to get caught up in the object and then trying to get more records. all the records. but what is it that made me want the thing? the object? it is because the music. the music that made us want to do things and be more than what we were. or to remember the thing that was. or to be in the thing that is happening. and that is not contained in an object so maybe let's chill out on the object collection and remember that what is important is the thing that is un-grasp-able. it is the feeling and the sound.
speaking of:


holy crap, bruce. bruce reminds me (us) to not think i know so much. i remember being in college and having the feeling that bruce springsteen was terrible. and some guy i just met told me that nebraska was good and i thought "you are a maniac". but he was right. and i thought to myself maybe this whole idea that these musicians that everyone loves are terrible is wrong. why do i think i know so much? and it turns out that bruce has some things that did something for me. not everything, but some things. like this thing. thanks, bruce. zen boss. boss zen.

also:

i feel a tortoise chicago whatever phase coming on. dear family, i apologize in advance but not really. more on this later but maybe this is the jazz for me right now. maybe i felt some things before that need re-feeling.

and now i am going to go do the wii fit because that is what i do now. because i want to feel good and sometimes it's nice to play a dumb game while the kid sleeps and then watch a movie and go to bed early. it's another gift, really.

notes on

take this pinecone, child

-so if you organize your books by color, how do you find the book you're looking for? do i have to remember that "the year of magical thinking" has a green spine if  i want to read it? i went into that installation at adobe and it was really incredible, but i couldn't find anything. which was fine because it was art. but i don't get it, man. do i have too many books? do people not really read their books?

-yesterday was father's day. it was my second as a dad. the kid went ahead and walked his first long solo steps. he wasn't doing it for me or even walking towards me (he was going to somebody he just emt and wanted to go down the stairs) but it was incredible. there was a brand new joyful and proud feeling i'd never had before. something truly outside of myself (but in?). what a thing!

-yesterday was also Go Skateboarding Day so i went to the local park to solo shred. when i began to shred i was reminded that i don't get out skating as much as i want to ever since the kid was born and that i am even more terrible at skateboarding than i have been in a very long time. that felt terrible. so i made the most of some cruising and carving and scratched out a few things. i'd love to blame it on the pretty crappy park (it is crappy) but really, i felt kind of old and embarrassed. i hereby resolve to not feel like that anymore by making time to shred regularly! seen!

-i am still trying to get the hang of all this parenthood and creative-hood and be-hood. man it's hard sometimes!

-i played music with my friend the other night in front of people. it was a show. we opened for a band another friend started. they are great! and popular! i had that thing where stiffened up in my mind and felt self-conscious and sucked into a whirlpool of negative vibrations and whispers. i then reminded myself that this is why it's ahrd to make things and do them in front of people! this is why it is difficult to offer things unto the universe at times! it is our job to push through these moments and continue to contribute! beside nobody remember and nobody cares! except me because i'll probably be thinking about it when i'm 85 years old and about what i wish i would have done differently so that people would like my music and therefore me. just kidding when i'm 85 i'll have it all figured out and be sitting in a lawn chair looking at something in the distance.

SUNLIGHT episode 6

today is the day:




thanks WARM RATIO
thanks Luna Music
thanks General Public Collective

thanks for listening

source and flow and real

i've gone off about charles schulz before. truly believe he is one of america's finest artists of the 20th or any century. every now and then i dive back in. his stories that include snoopy's brother spike are my favorite. 

this is comedy gold! or the saddest and truest thing ever drawn.

this particular frame i found very special.

so much so that i used to as the basis for a poster i'm making for an upcoming music show with my friends in Hiss Golden Messenger.

come if you can!

SUNLIGHT episode 5

i recorded these songs in my basement almost two years before they became a record in the physical world. as the time drew near i felt like i wanted to record these songs as i'd been playing them to myself: singing and strumming guitar. my good friend Todd felt the same way and set up a mic and a recorder in his basement and over the course of a few afternoons i played them all again. we drank tea and ate lunch and it was great. this version is available on side B of the SUNLIGHT cassette or for pay whatever digital.

the release show is tonight and i am stoked. thanks for listening.

SUNLIGHT episode 4

this is what i recorded "SUNLIGHT" on. the old fostex multitracker XR-3. i think this is my 4th machine. i buy one everytime i see one because 1. they break 2. they are cheap 3. you don't see them everyday. the reason i love this machine so much is the  little black bubble in the upper left hand corner. that's a built-in condenser mic. it picks up everything within about 5 feet of it, including the sound of the tape spinning and recording. that's the constant hum and rustle you hear through the entire record: layers of tape rattle like a babbling brook. it's not for everybody but it suits me. i don't really enjoy the mechanical side of the recording process: settting up mic's, checking levels and all that. with this i can just press record and lean in close. 

i typically would sing and play guitar first onto one track. then play drums and sing onto one track. then play drums and sing onto another track. i would bounce the drum tracks down onto the 4th track, freeing up 2 more tracks for a bass (which i would plug in direct) and another vocal. this was how every track on the record was done, with the exception of the two songs with cello on them. for those i dumped the 4-tracks onto and 8-track cassette and did two tracks of cello. maybe a handclap or two to round things out. then i took these tapes down to magnetic south in bloomington, where john dawson put everything in his computer and evened out the levels, fuzzed up the edges a  little and generally worked his mixing and mastering magic. thank you, john. 

when it was all done my friend todd robinson took the mixed files and put them in the sound oven like a fuzzy cake and then we sent it to the record plant. thank you, todd. 

it's just that easy. you should do it!

ps if anyone has a fostex xr-3 in working condition i will buy it from you.

SUNLIGHT episode 3

when i made this record i wasn't thinking of what it would look like. i wanted it to look how it sounded and i didn't know what it sounded like until the end of mixing (which was done by john dawson at magnetic south in bloomington, further edits by todd robinson). i had a big box of photos from my grandmother's house and i found some that looked like a vacation road trip. maybe to visit my dad at the army base. there were a few with a donkey. it looked like how i felt about these songs. 

i chose this one:

the photo was taken by my grandmother or grandfather of my uncle in a car. i think the donkey is saying hello. or telling a secret. or just checking him out. or wanting his sandwich. either way it's another being on earth and it lived and this was a moment of it. 

thanks, burro friend.

this is what the record looks like. i spruced it up and wrote my name and the title small at the top.

thanks, computer and pencil.

this is the back of the record.  i thought about my family a lot when i made these songs up and when i recorded them. my grandmother had not yet passed and my son had not yet been born. i dedicted the record to both of them because they are part of the thing that i am in, the long body in different bodies. do you know about the long body? look it up. warm ratio is the label run by some friends of mine here in indianapolis and i feel very grateful for their help in making this exist in the physical world. 

thanks, dudes.

this is the design for the labels. side one says hello side two says adios. wave to the record when you listen to it, coming and going. 

thanks, record.