Friday, January 17, 2014


the night i posted the previous entry on this blog, everything changed. that night something new came into the universe and that was my son. technically it was the following morning but he let his intentions be known that evening. have you ever made a person? we know how it happens but have you ever experienced this? i feel like i want to run to everyone i know who has ever given birth or had a child and hug them and say, " you know, i never really understood it. i can't believe you experienced this and that there was no parade or news flash about the miracle and magic and terror and wonder." and i am still in it and it changes every minute. i am happy and tired, scared and worried, calm and collected, freaked out and smothered in awe. mostly i am relieved and grateful and so proud of my amazing wife and so thankful to have such wonderful friends and confusing feelings and a brand new influence and perspective on everything i see and do from now on. nothing will ever be the same. 
and one of the most amazing things about this is that life goes on. things go wrong and are annoying, funny things happen, people don't understand and ask you to do things you don't want to do. and sometimes they forget the meat in mama's taco salad and it's a real emergency.

and we get to see the city from above, which is very rare in a city with no mountains or hills to speak of if you are not an office-type downtown. so we get to look out at the buildings and snow and the creepy open roof door on the rooftop next door.

and you make shopping lists and have to think about real life and go to the grocery store like it's just another wednesday like a mind-melting miracle did not just happen.
and then you get to look into the infinite and see what you are made of and what kind of person you have been and hope to be. i often talk and write about the magic and unknown things of life and living but a friend put it nicely in an email yesterday:

life is never closer and never more mysterious

being a person is the strangest and most amazing thing to happen anywhere ever.
to you who is reading: thank you for being a person thank you for being alive
let's all just take a deep breath and get going now


Megan said...

thanks for posting this. it's so hard to put feelings about becoming a parent into words. i'm due on February 16th and so terrified/excited to meet my mysterious little companion that's been sharing my body for the past 8 months. somehow i love her already.

fawn said...

This is so beautiful. Congratulations! It's like the universe letting you in on one of its little secrets.