man, i always avoid putting more overly personal things on this blog. i just think "who cares about that kind of thing?" or "what do i really want to put out there for everyone and their brother to know about me?" what a weird thing to have to think about. but i think about it. and i think it is important that i tell you a little bit about my grandmother. please excuse my ramble.
she's great. she has always been a source of warmth, fun, and a friendly face for me for my whole life. i spent a lot of time with her as a kid, just the two of us, going for walks around anderson, indiana. we'd walk to village pantry so i could get a coke, we'd walk to the bus station and take the bus to the mall, we'd walk the dog and feed the ducks. lots of parks and picnics and laying on the carpet watching reruns on tv. that transitioned into me going to college pretty close to her house, where i'd go every sunday for a meal, more reruns on tv, laundry, and a car trip to wherever she needed to go. she never learned to drive a car. she came to england when she was in her mid-twenties on a boat with a toddler version of my dad. she was already married to my grandpa and she eventually worked at sears downtown for a long long time. both her kids went to war. in later years, she visited my uncle in texas a lot, especially over the holidays. they would go fishing, sit around and smoke, play games, eat great food, wear funny hats, and generally have a good time. it really crushed her when he died, not even out of his 40s. he was the baby and that wasn't how it was supposed to go, you know? in 2000 i moved to california. i would talk to her on the phone every weekend and about once a month i would get a card from her in the mail with a funny old photo of me as a kid or a picture of her dog with some wisecrack written on the back and a check for fifty bucks. that fifty bucks always came in handy. whenever i came home for visits, she was always top of the list of stops. she would make mince pies and jam tarts for christmas every year and my dad and i would fight over them. i know they were made from ingredients from the dollar store but they were incredible, especially cold and about two days old. at some point i noticed she wasn't acting quite right. i moved back to indiana for a couple of reasons but top of the list was my grandma limey. we called her limey because she's english and still had the accent. it was just me, my dad and her left and seemed like the right time to come back for a while. about a year or two after i moved back she got really sick and we finally figured out she couldn't be alone full time anymore. she transitioned into a place where she could be taken care of and be comfortable. it was a nursing home and it was really hard but it was what needed to happen. it was rough for a while. then something balanced out. she started having a good time. we could take her out for lunch, trips to the mall and her favorite: strolling (or being pushed) around the park. she, my dad and i had some really good days. and i didn't worry as much. what a gift! and now here we are. she had a bad couple of weeks, and she passed away. my dad and i were took turns being with her for the last couple days and my dad was with her when she went. as it should be. a couple weeks from her 94th birthday. i miss her but i have no regrets. i'm grateful that she was comfortable and sleeping when she died. she was a great lady. she taught me card games and reminded me that fart jokes will be funny no matter how old you get. she let me drink champagne when i was ten years old on new years day. she raised two kids in a house smaller than any i've ever lived in. i am so grateful i got to spend as much time with her during my life. i hope i got a little of what she had. what a lady!